Monday, November 30, 2009

Mama's BFF: Santa Claus

Some say that St. Nicholas was an actual saint, the patron saint of giving maybe (I'm entirely too lazy to look it up, so this it what I am going with). Some people believe there was a man hundreds of years ago who went from house to house giving gifts to children and having dinner with families (sounds like a way to get a free meal to me). But neither of these is true. No, Santa Claus was in fact invented; created by desperate mom's trying to make their children behave. Brilliant really.

I wish I would've thought of that. Even though it wasn't my cleverness that invented the jolly old fat man, I'm sure as hell gonna use it to my advantage! It really only works from about Halloween to Christmas, and maybe a few days after while the gifts are still fresh in the mind, but for those short months it is a mother's best friend. "If you don't stop Santa won't bring you any presents" and "That will put you on Santa's naughty list", etc, etc, etc. So it's lazy parenting and sorta mean, but guess what, I'm lazy and sorta mean. I can't get away with it all year. For the other 10 months I have to yell, and use time-out and throw away toys, so for the little bit of time that I can use the scariest threat known to children, I'm taking advantage of it.

This is really the 1st year that our oldest is into the whole Christmas/Santa brouhaha so this is my 1st year of the old "naughty list" threat but so far it has worked like a charm. Oldest is already prepared with what to ask Santa for, so we even get to say things like, "Santa isn't going to bring you Altimus Prime if you don't start behaving", (I know it is Optimus Prime, but when a 3-year-old thinks it is Altimus you just go with it.) The way I see it, he will probably stop believing in Santa in the next 5 years, so lifespan of this tool is limited anyway. I have to use it while I still can, and I suggest you do too. It totally works.

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