Monday, January 17, 2011

So...2011 Sucks So Far

2011 is barely under way and I really wish everything could go back to the way it was on December 31. 2010. I know that isn't possible, so I am embracing the new life changes we've been bombarded blessed with, but I don't want to. Although, I felt like crap that day thanks to this baby-making thing so I could do without that.

The year started out like a pretty standard new year. I had my 1st prenatal check up (which was an absolute clusterfuck because the idiot who made my appointment somehow mistook "prenatal" for "annual exam" and they had to squeeze in my viability ultrasound between several other appointments...but I digress). Everything there was fine, baby is right where we thought it was (and yes, I call baby "it". Lay off me.) and has a heartbeat and all that good stuff.

3 days later was a hard day for my family. Bug, my oldest, had been peeing constantly and even wetting his bed for the 1st time in 3 years. I was immediately concerned, and I had a pretty good idea as to what it was. Daddy took him to see his doctor Friday and my suspicions were confirmed; Bug has diabetes. I was good, I was hanging in there, I was cool as a cucumber. And then Bug wanted to talk to me. He needed his Mama. As soon as he came on the phone I lost it. He was so scared and so sad, and all he could muster to say was that he couldn't eat anymore sugar. Trying to tell a 4-year-old over the phone that everything is going to be ok is not an easy feat. I left work and joined them for the remaining doctors appointments that day. The last week has been a whirlwind, with blood-sugar testing and insulin injections and doctor's appointments. My 4-year-old has proven to be much more stable than his mother, because he is handling this better than anyone could have expected. I, on the other hand, cry like a baby anytime anyone asks me how we're doing.

We're doing ok, as ok as I can expect us to be doing. Someday we will be fine and someday after that we will be great. But today? Today we are just ok. I could really use a bottle glass of wine right now, but since that is bad for the baby or whatever, I guess I'll just stick to club soda and lime and pretend it's a cocktail.

5 comments:

Gucci Mama said...

Oh, your poor little man! That has to be so tough! He sounds like a little trooper, though. What a sweetie.

I hope things turn around for you soon.

PS - I called my babies "it" too until I knew what color they were.

Color as in blue or pink, not like black or Mexican.

I should stop now.

Red Panda said...

I call babies 'IT' too. I usually get in trouble though cuz they're usually 3 and older and I'm still calling them it. I hope things work out for Bug. There are some yummy sugarless things out there!

qandlequeen said...

While diabetes is a big bad scary disease, it is super duper manageable and it doesn't mean absolutely no sugar. My son was diagnosed six years ago and is really doing well with it.

Sending you a big hug. I totally know your fears.

Impulsive Addict said...

Yikes. That is not a good start. You can look at it this way, it can only get better, right? Poor little guy. =(

I will TOTALLY have a drink for you...maybe even two or three if you need me to because I'm a great friend (whom you've never met).

You're welcome.

RooPlusTwo said...

*hugs*