To the Ladies of #YesAllWomen,
I understand what you are trying to do. I understand your fight and why you are so passionate about the discussion surrounding rape. I've known many women who are victims of sexual assault, and I agree that it has gotten out of hand. Well actually, that isn't entirely true. It has always been out of hand, women have faced this for centuries, and it certainly past time to really have the conversation about how to fix the problem.
In my opinion, there are 2 very different discussions that need to be had. One is about rapists; men who force sexual acts on unwilling women. The other, I wouldn't consider sexual assault, but I would consider it inappropriate and unwanted attention. I'm want to talk about that 2nd one 1st.
I hadn't ever really stopped to think about this until recently, and I suppose I have #yesallwomen to thank for that. I came across an article that was written in response to the trending hashtag that has been blowing up the internet since the shooting in California a few weeks ago. The writer in this article goes on to explain 2 situations with men where she felt incredibly uncomfortable. As I read it, I began to recall a few situations I found myself in years ago. I was uncomfortable, yes, but I never feared for my safety. Some of the questions this particular writer addressed was how do we change this? How should I have reacted? How should I tell my young daughter to respond in such a situation? I fear that those of you who are using #yesallwomen to tell your stories are also stuck on the idea that women shouldn't have to do anything. The women are not at fault, and I think the vast majority of people in this country would agree with that, and I am in no way blaming the victims, but women are also very capable of stopping this behavior. Over a decade ago a friend and I went to a club to
The other conversation that I think needs to be had is that of rape. The thing is, men who are willing to rape aren't the type that you can reason with and talk to and "teach". Rapists are criminals, and criminals break the law without regard to anyone else. You can keep saying that we need to "teach boys not to rape" but what makes you think that we aren't already doing that? We teach our children not to murder or steal or rape, yet there are still people who do those things. They are criminals. The only way to deal with criminals is to throw the book at them or stop them in the act. That's why I am so appalled at the outrage that the newly crowned Miss USA. Formally Miss Nevada, Nia Sanchez, is a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. In her interview she spoke of the importance of women learning self-defense to protect themselves. Instead of lauding her for pushing women to take care of themselves, you've attacked her because you think she is blaming the victims. You continue with the rhetoric that we should be teaching boys not to rape, as if that is the only solution. Women are not to blame when they are raped, but even if so, shouldn't they be able to defend themselves and save the years of pain that follow an assault of such magnitude? You can shout until you are blue in the face, but people are going to stop listening to you. If you really want less women to be victims of rape, give them the tools to keep it from happening. "Teach"