Thursday, July 3, 2014

16 Instances Where Misogyny Actually Didn't Exist

If you've been here for more than 20 seconds you know that I am not part of the "Modern Feminist" movement. I'm not even linking to my other posts about that because let's face it, we don't have all day. I came across this little gem the other day on Buzzfeed, which we all know is chock full of things like facts and unbiased opinion. The article claims there are 16 instances where "Micro-Misogyny" proves that the patriarchy is everywhere. I call bull shit on this whole thing, and here are my 16 15 why... (go to the link to see the irrelevant pictures they post with each of their points)

1. When guys call their ex-girlfriends "Crazy". Ummm, have you ever met his crazy ex-girlfriend? Because I have, and that bitch was fucking crazy. Stalking, calling constantly, pretending to be pregnant so he'll get back with her, those are things crazy women do. Maybe she isn't permanently crazy, maybe she was hormonal or young and inexperienced with break ups, maybe she grew up and learned her lesson and her next breakup was beautiful and easy and everyone hugged it out. That doesn't mean she didn't go all batshit when she broke up with a guy one time. Let's call a spade a spade, or this case, let's call a crazy ex-girlfriend a crazy ex-girlfriend. 

2. When waiters automatically give the check to the guy at the table. When was the last time this actually happened? I have waited many a table in my life, and I never handed the check to anyone. I put it in the middle of the table and let them duke it out amongst themselves. The only time I've ever seen the waiter hand the check to a specific person was when said person specifically asked to have the check delivered directly to said person. And don't even think about saying how misogynistic it is for a man to pay for dinner on a date. If he wants to pay, he is more than welcome. I can always get the next one.

3. When a dude suggests we've reached equality in the workplace, just look at all these women! You are talking about the generation of men who has seen the workplace go from zero women to a few secretaries to female CEOs. Women used to not work, like ever, and now they do. The only men, or "dudes" as you so uncondescendingly call them, who think like this were around when women didn't hold powerful jobs. Younger men, even middle-aged men, have always had women in the workplace. Always. They've even reported to at least a few. Again, I have never, ever, experienced anything like this. 

4. When you're playing an outdoor game (bocce ball! shuffleboard!) with another woman and a dude comes over to tell you how to play the "right way". Ok, 1st of all, this is like the oldest flirting trick in the book. He comes over because he wants to get close to you. 2nd of all who would actually do this? No man has ever told me I'm playing a game wrong. My neighbor is a professional baseball player and when we play baseball with the kids in the yard, he doesn't tell anyone that they are doing it wrong. And 3rd, and most importantly, of all, WOMEN DO THIS SHIT TOO! Have you ever met a control freak or a women with a type A personality? Regardless of the game or the project or the event, you are doing it wrong if you are doing it differently than they want you too. People like this are obnoxious, yes, but it isn't because they are male. It's because they are obnoxious.

5. When a guy takes it upon himself to order for you. "and she'll have..." Right. Because it's 1933 and men still do this. MEN DON'T STILL DO THIS! They don't assume that a woman they are in the early stages of dating will eat whatever he orders for her. If he knew what she liked he's been making it for her himself. Every once in a while I'll tell my husband what to order for me while I run to the bathroom or deal with the kids, and that is the only time this statement has ever come out of his mouth. And if you should ever come across a man who thinks men still do this, it's probably because he is trying to be polite. If you don't like what he ordered for you or if you don't like the fact that he ordered for you, go ahead and tell him and the waiter what you actually want "actually, I think I'll have the..." See how easy that was? Absolute misogyny crisis averted.

6. When a server assumes that the man will taste the wine you ordered. Again, standard procedure is to give the wine to whoever ordered it to taste it. If he ordered it, he gets to taste it. If the server gives it to the wrong person, ask to taste it yourself. Easy peasy.

7. When a guy you've never met tells you to smile. How is that misogyny? Annoying? Yes. Infuriating even? Yes. But when you know the guy who is saying that it is still obnoxious. He might just be trying to make you smile, maybe he really cares and wonders what is wrong that is making you not smile. A simple evil glare or a quick "fuck off" will tell him it's none of his goddamn business. Again, this is a personality quirk. Some men (and women) think this is acceptable behavior; they want to talk to other people and see them smile. It's probably the wrong way to do it, but it's done with good intentions.

8. When guys assume that you're just bad at drinking games so they never want you on your team. Huh? This is a thing? You are mad because the men you hang out with don't think you have a drinking problem like they do, or that you are too young/hot/skinny to be able to drink as much as them? There are team drinking games? And men would rather only have other men on their teams instead of having drunk girls get drunk with them? I find this 200% unbelievable.

9. When a guy starts defending Woody Allen, R. Kelly, or Roman Polanski's "artistry". The only men who would ever dream of defending such crap are either uber liberal (like other actors/directors/crappy musicians) or perverts. If any other man happens to enjoy any of these Hollywood cowdung's work, it's because they probably get to see naked chicks. Regular men couldn't give a shit about the "artistry".

10. When a man riding a bicycle pulls in front of you at a stop light because he assumes he must be a faster rider, even though he has only seen you on your bike at a full stop…and then you pass them immediately. Ok, so I've never experienced this because I'm an adult and drive a car, also I hate people on bicycles, but it seems to me that you might be reading a little too far into this one. Couldn't he just be pulling in front of you because he wants a chance to get off the line faster than you? I'm not saying he isn't kind of a selfish jerk by cutting in line, but he'd probably do it to any cyclist that was at that same red light, not just the girls. Seems like maybe one guy did this to you one time and you can't seem to let it go. 

11. When a guy tells you you're "overreacting". Well, were you overreacting? I've been told that before. I've also said it to Charming Husband before. In both cases, the person hearing it is usually overreacting. Judging by the "points" you make in this article I bet you overreact pretty often. (You should check out the GIF on this one, I don't really like Michelle Obama, but her face in this says it all). 

12. Asks you at any point, for any reason, if "it's your time of the month". Ya know, I'm going to concede on this single point. Sometimes I'm mad because I am premenstrual, but more likely I am mad because you fucked up. I think it is fair for a man to think that maybe I am soooo upset because it's that time of the month (I mean, it does get exponentially worse then) but for the love of god, and your own safety, DON'T SAY IT!

13. When a man INSISTS that all women MUST get off the elevator before him. Ugh, don't you just HATE it when men are polite?! I mean, how dare they let a women get out of the stuffy, cramped elevator first!

14. When a guy sits next to you on the airplane and automatically takes over the armrest. So take it back. Again, I think this is more of an "asshole" thing than a "male" thing. Just because a guy does something you don't like doesn't mean it's misogynistic, it means that particular guy is a self-centered twat waffle. I'm certain I could name plenty of women who fall into that category.

15. When you're the only girl in the weight room and a guy comes up and asks if you "know what you are doing". Yes, because weights are so complicated and the weight machines don't have instructions posted right on them or anything and all men think that women are stupid and couldn't possibly read and be doing it right. If you are doing something the correct way, anyone who knows the correct way can look at you and know that you are doing it right. If you aren't, maybe you should listen to that guy so that you don't hurt yourself. But again, I've never seen this actually play out in real life. I go to the gym 3 times a week on average. The elliptical I use it right next to the weights. The only time I've ever seen a guy helping a girl is when she either asked him for help or she actually came to the gym with him, which to me implies that she knows him and he feels comfortable helping her

16. When a dude does THIS in the subway (what you don't see here in my post is the picture of a guy sitting with his legs far apart, go and look at the actual picture now). What I see in this picture is not a depiction of misogyny and how men feel they need more space, I see a man who is, in general, a giant douche canoe He dresses like one, wears his hair like one, and clearly his ego brings it all together.  I think this is a typical action of a young guy, fairly new to the business world, and at the bottom of the ladder. Men who are actually professional and not just pretending to be wouldn't do this. Also, I have seen thousands of men, men on every bus or train or plane that I have been on, sit like this when they have the room, but as soon as I sit down next to them or as soon as the transportation vessel in which we sit fills up, they take up the appropriate amount of room and allow others their personal space. Who cares if they do this when there is plenty of room?

Obviously, I find this kind of propaganda obnoxious. "Micro Misogyny" is something lesbians/feminists have made up to make all men look evil. But men aren't evil and they aren't the enemy. Some definitely suck at life, but they aren't evil. 

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