Thursday, August 12, 2010

Apparently Someone Thinks I Have A Heart

I got a call last week about doing some fundraising thing.  Here is the shtick: you get picked up in a Paddy Wagon, driven to "jail", which is actually just a pretend jail inside of a local bar/restaurant. You have to stay there for at least an hour, and you have to make "bail" by raising money for muscular dystrophy. Cute idea, really, but they got the wrong person. When the woman called she said,"someone nominated you because you have such a great great big heart!" I responded by saying "well I'm sorry, but someone was lying to you". 1st of all, "bail" is set at $2400, and if I can dupe someone into giving me $2400 I'm getting my stupid car fixed. And maybe buying a new bag. 2nd of all, I'm supposed leave work in the middle of the day for at least 2 hours with all of the quality paddy wagon time? Yeah, that'll go over well. Not to mention the fact that the bar isn't even going to give me a free beer, I mean, WHAT is THAT? And since I'm a heartless bitch, I don't do things if I don't get something awesome out of it. And I mean something tangible, not that "feeling of doing something good for others" crap. I also kind of feel like there are other charities that need donations too. If it was for some obscure, barely known but very important cause I might be more apt to do it. Not that muscular dystrophy isn't important, it just isn't near and dear to my heart. Had they said it was for autism I'd probably sign up every person I know and would have well over $2400 raised, but that's because it hits home. I'm even more stingy with my time than I am with my money. Does that bother you? Get off me. I never said I was a nice person.

7 comments:

Gucci Mama said...

I love you. That is all. I have nothing else to add to this little slice of perfection.

Christy said...

We had a daughter as a patient at St. Jude in Memphis. I am always getting requests from other organizations and people to donate to other causes. Well pediatric cancer hits close to home for me and I fully understand you want to choose what charities you donate to. I feel the exact same way. I don't think that's being a heartless bitch.

Unknown said...

Thanks GM! I try to perfect. That's a lie, it comes naturally. I'm sure you know what that's like.

Christy, thanks for not thinking I'm a heartless bitch! but there are things other than this post that make me one :)

Anonymous said...

It's called volunteering for a reason. If you don't volunteer, it's called guilting/soliciting/black-mailing... take your pick.

What I wonder is if you then hung up on her, or allowed her to give you a Junior League giggle and continue to ask if you were sure you couldn't contribute?

I'm kinda hoping you told her to have a great day as she heard the click :)

Unknown said...

I let her go on for a minute or two, and then she realized that I probably wasn't kidding. Then she asked for the names of 3 other people in order to take care of my "bail". I told her I couldn't think of anyone I hated enough to put up to this. She thanked me for my time :)

Lori said...

Found you from the blogfrog community. You weren't kidding when you said you don't hold back. I love it when people tell it like it is instead of pussy footing around everything. You go girl!

Anonymous said...

It's refreshing to actually hear someone being honest! I don't like when people volunteer me to "donate" to certain things either, but I have noticed when some organziations find out that you donate to others (ie, we donate to MS/Heart agencys) they try to solicite you to donate to them. Annoying!