Pregnancy and I don't always get along. The fact that I am doing this for a 3rd time is actually sort of a miracle. Ya know, other than that "it's worth it in the end" crap. Trust me, I love my children more than anything in the world but I would be lying if I said I loved every minute of getting them here. I have my moments where I realize how amazing and beautiful it all is, but those moments, especially early on, are clouded by nausea and vomiting and uncontrollable mood swings. And according to a lot of the people around me I'm actually not that bad of a pregnant woman. But when I'm bad, I really, really bad.
For instance, last week we made homemade pizza for dinner. I had rolled my crust really thin and as I went to put it in the oven the back half slid off the pizza stone and down into the bottom of the oven. I would normally be annoyed, mostly with myself, but I would huff a little and pick the pizza back off and put it on the stone. Yeah, normal waved bye-bye about 9 weeks ago. Instead of reacted in an understandable manner, I flipped.my.shit. After I screamed at the pizza, I screamed at the oven. Then of course I cursed our home because clearly it was at fault. I was outraged that my dinner was partially damaged. When I finally got everything under control, I kicked the oven door closed. I showed her who was boss, damnit. Charming Husband, who had the pleasure of witnessing this rampage, stared at me like I had 2 heads to which I gently responded, "quit fucking looking at me like that!!!" I'm pretty sure when I left the room he and Bug exchanged, "wow Mom is crazy" looks.
The funny thing, and by funny I mean outrageous, is that the whole time I was yelling, I knew I was being completely ridiculous. I knew that I was completely irrational but I just couldn't stop. I kept telling myself, "Shut-up you psychopath! It's just pizza! And it isn't like you can eat the whole thing anyway!" Seriously, why couldn't I stop? Each pregnancy brings a new phenomena that I can't seem to control. I'm pretty sure this is God's way of telling me I probably shouldn't have anymore kids, because I am getting progressively worse each time. Ok, God, I get the point. You can stop proving it.
This is what it looks like inside the mind of a partially crazy, hopefully funny, sometimes angry, usually happy, always loving mommy, wife, and friend.
7 comments:
Hahahahahahaha! I HATED being pregnant. Hated. It. And I was just as psychotic. When I was pregnant with Josh I hated mayonnaise even more than I usually do, and I ordered a sandwich from my favorite sandwich place and the guy KNEW not to put mayonnaise on it, but he did anyway. I cried for like fifteen minutes. In the restaurant. Like gasping, wrenching sobs. Fun times.
I'm going to add this to the list of reasons my ovaries have gone in to hiding.
Once, I had my handsome hubby get me a vegetarian sammie from quiznos, and when he got home it had meat on it. I about killed him but somehow kept it together enough to channel my rage at quiznos. I jumped in my car, flew to quiznos, threw the sammie at the employee. I screamed "I have two babies in my belly and we are all vegetarians you fuck faces!" they apologized. I ate my new sammie & gained a reputation in my small town quiznos.
Cheers, you poor preggo! Hormones don't suit me, either.
You only act like this pregnant? Lmfao I threw this exact tantrum just a couple weeks ago- only it was MY whole pizza on the floor. Face down.... Because my oven mit failed me and burned my hand through the mit! (Lame)
But seriously I know what you mean. I will not be doing that for a 3rd time! Its stories like this that make me glad brian had skot before I married him!
Don't beat yourself up. I act like this daily and I'm not pregnant.
I need to use the term "flip my shit" in my next post. I'm diggin' it. I "flipped my shit" at the two truckers that drove side by side for 38 minutes before I could pass them in true road rage fashion. Bastards.
GM: I have a similar reaction even when I am not pregnant, my friends can tell I'm about to freak out when they see the "ranch dressing face". It isn't pretty.
Panda: Hang around here long enough and I'll give thousands more!
Roo: Sometimes you have to show people who is boss!! I've been known to yell at complete strangers too, but no one around messes with me after that!
Ty: But you rock the pregnancy thing! If I looked like you did pregnant I might enjoy this more, but on top of feeling crazy and sick, I actually look awful!
Addict: It's a good one, isn't it? And it totally describes what actually happened. I was crazy.
I was the MOST irrational, hateful, mean bitch on the entire planet while I was pregnant!!
Fuck bitch!
Congratulations, I had no idea you got yourself knocked up again!
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